Negotiation: It's not you – it's your brain.

A pretty good way to explain why some negotiations don't quite go as hoped.

-You were right about the paper.

-Your offer made sense.

-But still… lost margin. Compromises you didn't intend. Bad feeling afterwards.

Why?

👉 Because how we negotiate is influenced more by habits, perception and psychology - than by logic and product sheets.

Here are three traps from the research – and how you can train yourself out of them with better behaviors and new habits :

1. We interpret more than we listen.

Research shows that tone, pace, and body language influence the experience more than the logical content.

--> And in negotiation, that means that security often wins over facts.

So how do you practice it?

👉 By not just talking about technology – but training behaviors .

Examples of important verbal behaviors:

– Summarize what you hear (shows listening and builds trust)

– Ask openly : “How do you reason about that?”

– Speculate constructively : “Could it be an alternative to…?”

– Express calm regardless of pressure : “I hear it’s important to you – and for us it’s crucial that the value in the solution is preserved.”

🎯 Practice role-playing. Record. Build automatic responses – that's where the habit is created.

Those who feel they have more options, or feel secure in their role, also act more strongly.

💡 Practice to:

– Building BATNA confidence : What is my best option if the deal doesn't go through?

– Remain silent : Dare to be silent when you have made your case. It is powerful.

– Set the framework early: “We know what value we create and what type of collaboration is required.”

👉 The behavior you are practicing here is: Dare to show clarity - without being harsh.

– You agree to a bad price so as not to lose the deal .

– You let the other party's first bid set the agenda.

– You're negotiating too quickly – just to get it over with.

💬 Here, the training is about building mental habits before the meeting:

Ask yourself:

– What is my absolute minimum level – and why?

– What am I most afraid of losing – and is it rational?

– What one point do I absolutely want to include in the final clip?

🎯 Negotiators who practice thinking slowly under pressure win more often. It's a habit.

🧠 So – how do you really train?

It starts with:

– See negotiation as a behavior , not a meeting.

– Train skills – not just knowledge.

– Practice dialogue , not just arguments.

💬 So my question to you:

👉 When you practice sales or negotiation – what do you spend the most time on? Content or behavior?

👉 What verbal behavior has helped you the most in difficult situations?